Dil Mil, a dating app for the Indian diaspora, is redefining “arranged” marriages
Even in the Western world, the shaadi – or “wedding” – mentality is prevalent in South Asian communities. As a result, younger generations who have grown up embracing both Eastern and Western cultures withstand the worst of two seemingly irresoluble views on marriage, dating, and fostering new relationships.
Between challenging traditional arranged marriages and being subjected to the even stronger stigma attached to dating and the spectrum of activities that the word entails , many South Asians feel lost without a niche of their own, and frequently find themselves out of options when it comes to pursuing the relationships they want.
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All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations.
Many young South Asian Australians told ABC Life they’ve seen aspects of their real lives being played out in the show, but that of course, one reality program could never capture the myriad experiences of people across many communities, language groups, religions, genders, sexualities, traditions and castes of the subcontinental region. Some have given up on the tradition by choosing a partner through Western dating, while others have modernised it and made it work for them.
A common thread among all was the question: “How do I keep my parents happy while also doing what I need for myself?
Group acquires Dil Mil app for South Asian expats as dating apps consolidate
Now available to stream, the series follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia as she painstakingly works with singles and their families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage. One client, New Jersey-based event planner Nadia, wonders if her Indian-ness will come into question because of her Guyanese heritage. With the global reach of Netflix, Mundhra saw an opportunity to present a look at dating and relationships through the very specific lens of the South Asian experience that would reach a wide audience.
That we have all sorts of different backgrounds, different ideals and ideologies. I think you can sort of learn a lot just from the examples and the specific journey of the participants.
Hetal Lakhani was scrolling through Facebook when she saw a post about a skin color filter on , a popular South Asian dating site.
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Generally, parents facilitate talks and perhaps even take decisions. This traditional system seems to work given that divorce rates in India are among the lowest in the world , albeit some argue it is problematic. But with the proliferation of dating apps and evolution of matrimoniall websites, the concept of arranged marriage is changing. The bride and groom are often able to take the reins, so coercion is lower and efficacy, higher.
However, when an Indian wants to meet another Indian outside the country, the search can be tough.
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By Zayna Syed. Hetal Lakhani was scrolling through Facebook when she saw a post about a skin color filter on Shaadi. But she, like so many other South Asian women, had a story about colorism. The man she dated a few years ago came from a very light-skinned family. And his mother made comments about her skin color. It has stuck in my head. She started an online petition to get the skin-color filter removed. Within an hour, the petition gained around signatures, and it closed with over 1, While colorism remains prevalent in South Asian communities, including those in North Texas, the Black Lives Matter movement has sparked conversations about South Asian prejudices and biases, including favoring light skin.
These biases, they say, have their roots in the British colonization of the subcontinent. The petition was successful, and Shaadi. In India, the estimated sales of skin-lightening creams are in the billions of dollars. These creams can be found in South Asian grocery stores in North Texas as well.
South Asian Women Like Me Still Face Subtle Racism on Tinder
I am a South-Asian woman, with a dating preference for South-Asian men. Within a few days of actively using Hinge, the only profiles on my Discover page were those of South-Asian men, as if the app had become a matrimonial site for brown folks. On the surface, this is the opposite of a problem.
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Indonesia and Malaysia lead surge in spending on matchmaking platforms. According to mobile data and analytics company App Annie, would-be lovers in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore have led the shift to handheld devices. Social dating app Bumble has partnered with the Singapore Tourism Board to offer a service aimed at helping professionals network and make contacts, while the Dating. And while Tinder led the pack, other newcomers are starting to catch up.
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